Sometimes, I just wish that I could go all out of control and cry as hard as I could so that the tears could wash away every single bit of despair of my life. I don’t know how long more I could take this and I don’t know who actually cares, and what it matters now is I feel like I am a complete fucked up that I don’t even deserve to go to hell. Screw all the thoughts I save for others while it’s getting so cheap people won’t even care about. Screw all the acting nice I am trying that eventually put me in a situation I could hardly say no. Screw everything I care that eventually walk out of my life I don’t even have a chance to say goodbye.

If there’s God up there, thanks for giving me this miserable life that I could hardly enjoy, instead, I have to make fun of myself to feel better. And if You are kind enough, please take it back before I murder anyone else before taking my own life. THANK YOU IF YOU HEAR ME OR SEE THIS.